rottweiler

When being chased by a rottweiler life becomes  that bit simpler, the ordinarily bogged down pages turn so much more easily. Get away from the devil and avoid the loss of a limb in the process; why is it then that one must fill in 20 pages of risk assessment? It is a troubling thought to cross my mind, 'If I get out of his alive I need to fill in 100 bloody forms confirming the event, consoling the owner of the dog and requesting a damn good lawyer.' Thank God I don't get chased by savage beasts often! I dread to imagine a career in dog-care, particularly rottweilers...
Fortunately I was able to lay my hands on a katana. Legal problems aside, it was a fantastic weapon and did the trick just fine, my pirate games as a child really paid off. A clean cut was what I aimed for, though it ended up as more of a hammer battery than silent ninja kill. Sh. Nobody told you that. The dog died painlessly - it was unconscious after the first few blows.
Satan's owner was very good about it all, I arrived at her doorstep full of crocodile tears I'd nicked from the zoo last week and told her some sob story about a truck hitting the bugger. She was a bit thick and so forgot to question the blatant katana marks, so everything went to plan! Apart from the cat. I swear it was an accident. The idiot wandered into my blade. It was a shame really, the wife left me because of it - still, at least I killed her dog. I hate rottweilers.

I dink I have a dold

I think I have a cold coming on, this is a happy time for it to be stalking me as exam week has finished now - just one more trial to survive tomorrow :D Hopefully my grade will not be influenced by my malfunction.
I remember in year 7 in a maths exam I was sat next to somebody with a cold, it annoyed the nails off my fingers. I do sincerely hope that nobody will suffer at my expense at zero hour, I'd hate for my cold being responsible for the teacher getting irritated at somebody because of their low score which was directly influenced by my cold. I know the class setting won't be changed at all and so tomorrow's test is a bit pointless, but still, it's the principles.

I'm on Skype now, I can hear a friend playing the guitar, it's very nice - don't tell him I said that though. Oh dear, he's trying to sing. This is a shambles. Yay! I love how the electronically distorted notes fit perfectly together, they are so nicely in harmony it's freaky. The pace is slowing down a bit now... I wish I'd learnt the guitar. I never had any reason to do so which is probably why I didn't; I took cello lessons for a while but then stopped, I'm not 100% sure as to why I stopped, I just did.
Never give up on an instrument, you'll regret it later. If you get the opportunity to learn something like guitar or piano... do it. They sound nice.
Ahhhh, a very endearing repetitive chord thingy is being played now, lovely.

passionate love, in the oven

I've been on holiday recently, I paid visit to one of Mr. Billy Butlin's attractions. It was bad - the two things that got me through it were my book and the dodgems (NO bumping). I had low expectations from the off, but I was completely dumbfounded by the accommodation. In a word? Crap, with grime included in the cost. I was surprised that flies weren't making passionate love in the oven. In fact, I was surprised the bloody roof hadn't eaten itself.

In my area roofs tend to be very emotional creatures, prone to nervous breakdances and spontaneous combustion. That was a lie.

imaginative title

iPhones. I have one. Lots of people do. They're overrated.
That was rather silly, and rather brief; I feel pushed to say something more though am at a loss as to what to say. I shall think about what happened today and get back to you.

An author visited my school today; he spoke and tried not to swear, he answered questions and told us how he gets down to write a book. I learned nothing.
I guess I do now know what it's like to have a bloke from Leicester telling you about his book about poo, but that's not the most productive way of spending an English lesson. I disliked what this author was saying. Deeply.
I don't know what it was that he was saying that I didn't like so much, but there was just a nagging dislike the moment he started talking about his books. This isn't really going anywhere, and if it did it wouldn't be very productive, but I just don't like it when people make out that what we see everyday is all negative. Gangs. Neglected youths. Drug addicts. People don't seem to be able to get past all of that bullshit. I acknowledge that there are large problems associated with those things, and that those things themselves are large problems, but when people claim that that's all there is to life my blood boils like soup. Open your eyes and you'll see a lot.

pew number three

Peering out from behind the pastel white wooden door, I could hear the gentle hum of dislocated singing seeping under my door frame - Matthew is a friend whom I have known for a few years, and is unfortunately not blessed with an amazing singing voice. Through numerous online games I have come to know him better and have eventually ended up in numerous Skype conversations with him; which explains the singing. I cautiously placed my foot upon the dirty cream carpet, the difference in textures causing me to startle a little. Hesitantly, I hauled my other foot from out of the ocean and into the desert. Something was wrong. My iron levers and alloyed cogs ground to a rusty halt. Red dust cascaded from the walkways and showered the workers, scalding oil spilled out from the vats as men fled from it's already singed path.

betty

I have recently acquired a love of pigeons, the more observant among you will have noticed that I changed my display picture (several times, each a different version of the same image) to fit this taste. The picture features 'Betty', my pigeon and her companion cube.
Being ill can get terribly boring, I'm sure we've all had that day away from school due to serious injury or maiming, maybe even Black Ops-itus, and we've sat in bed for however long. I lasted 10 minutes. Sod this, I thought, this isn't going to do me any good. I got up and had a shower,  teleported downstairs and nicked some Jammie Dodgers. I then proceeded to flick my laptop on; the problem with having an eco-laptop is that it bites back, hard, as in, I'm now missing a few fingers. I've always been into image manipulation - or whatever you call the damn thing, anyway, whatever it is - it keeps me amused.
I'd created this internet persona of Chaos Pigeon, or rather, I thought I had. Turns out some bloke has already made a flickr account with this username. I was most upset.
 All internet personas need an image, so I thought I'd make one. I did. I also made a pigeon desktop wallpaper, a broken wall shrouded in smoke, hiding a drunken monkey and a MineCraft wallpaper. A very productive day, I think.*

*please note, these images were produced over the course of several days