"Do we? Do we really? I honestly couldn't care less about you - and what do you expect, I don't talk to you. There's a reason we don't talk. I'm not sure what it is, but there is a reason. It's probably a very good one. If it isn't then I've made a grievous mistake, which I don't like to do. If either of us were remotely interested in each other we wouldn't be here right now, having this conversation would we? No. We wouldn't.
I don't have a clue why you said this to me, I don't even know why I liked your status - I mean, honestly, we hardly even know each other. Yeah. I said it. WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER. In consideration that probably isn't all too true, I like to know people I meet to some degree and so by nature you know me a bit too, we probably don't like each other much. Not really. We can be all nice and flowery over this but we still don't like each other, not like real friends."
I hate people that say this, it's so damn annoying. People don't talk for a reason, and if they want that to change they don't say this- they ACT ON IT.
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Thursday, 16 June 2011
rottweiler
When being chased by a rottweiler life becomes that bit simpler, the ordinarily bogged down pages turn so much more easily. Get away from the devil and avoid the loss of a limb in the process; why is it then that one must fill in 20 pages of risk assessment? It is a troubling thought to cross my mind, 'If I get out of his alive I need to fill in 100 bloody forms confirming the event, consoling the owner of the dog and requesting a damn good lawyer.' Thank God I don't get chased by savage beasts often! I dread to imagine a career in dog-care, particularly rottweilers...
Fortunately I was able to lay my hands on a katana. Legal problems aside, it was a fantastic weapon and did the trick just fine, my pirate games as a child really paid off. A clean cut was what I aimed for, though it ended up as more of a hammer battery than silent ninja kill. Sh. Nobody told you that. The dog died painlessly - it was unconscious after the first few blows.
Satan's owner was very good about it all, I arrived at her doorstep full of crocodile tears I'd nicked from the zoo last week and told her some sob story about a truck hitting the bugger. She was a bit thick and so forgot to question the blatant katana marks, so everything went to plan! Apart from the cat. I swear it was an accident. The idiot wandered into my blade. It was a shame really, the wife left me because of it - still, at least I killed her dog. I hate rottweilers.
Fortunately I was able to lay my hands on a katana. Legal problems aside, it was a fantastic weapon and did the trick just fine, my pirate games as a child really paid off. A clean cut was what I aimed for, though it ended up as more of a hammer battery than silent ninja kill. Sh. Nobody told you that. The dog died painlessly - it was unconscious after the first few blows.
Satan's owner was very good about it all, I arrived at her doorstep full of crocodile tears I'd nicked from the zoo last week and told her some sob story about a truck hitting the bugger. She was a bit thick and so forgot to question the blatant katana marks, so everything went to plan! Apart from the cat. I swear it was an accident. The idiot wandered into my blade. It was a shame really, the wife left me because of it - still, at least I killed her dog. I hate rottweilers.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
I dink I have a dold
I think I have a cold coming on, this is a happy time for it to be stalking me as exam week has finished now - just one more trial to survive tomorrow :D Hopefully my grade will not be influenced by my malfunction.
I remember in year 7 in a maths exam I was sat next to somebody with a cold, it annoyed the nails off my fingers. I do sincerely hope that nobody will suffer at my expense at zero hour, I'd hate for my cold being responsible for the teacher getting irritated at somebody because of their low score which was directly influenced by my cold. I know the class setting won't be changed at all and so tomorrow's test is a bit pointless, but still, it's the principles.
I'm on Skype now, I can hear a friend playing the guitar, it's very nice - don't tell him I said that though. Oh dear, he's trying to sing. This is a shambles. Yay! I love how the electronically distorted notes fit perfectly together, they are so nicely in harmony it's freaky. The pace is slowing down a bit now... I wish I'd learnt the guitar. I never had any reason to do so which is probably why I didn't; I took cello lessons for a while but then stopped, I'm not 100% sure as to why I stopped, I just did.
Never give up on an instrument, you'll regret it later. If you get the opportunity to learn something like guitar or piano... do it. They sound nice.
Ahhhh, a very endearing repetitive chord thingy is being played now, lovely.
I remember in year 7 in a maths exam I was sat next to somebody with a cold, it annoyed the nails off my fingers. I do sincerely hope that nobody will suffer at my expense at zero hour, I'd hate for my cold being responsible for the teacher getting irritated at somebody because of their low score which was directly influenced by my cold. I know the class setting won't be changed at all and so tomorrow's test is a bit pointless, but still, it's the principles.
I'm on Skype now, I can hear a friend playing the guitar, it's very nice - don't tell him I said that though. Oh dear, he's trying to sing. This is a shambles. Yay! I love how the electronically distorted notes fit perfectly together, they are so nicely in harmony it's freaky. The pace is slowing down a bit now... I wish I'd learnt the guitar. I never had any reason to do so which is probably why I didn't; I took cello lessons for a while but then stopped, I'm not 100% sure as to why I stopped, I just did.
Never give up on an instrument, you'll regret it later. If you get the opportunity to learn something like guitar or piano... do it. They sound nice.
Ahhhh, a very endearing repetitive chord thingy is being played now, lovely.
Sunday, 5 June 2011
passionate love, in the oven
I've been on holiday recently, I paid visit to one of Mr. Billy Butlin's attractions. It was bad - the two things that got me through it were my book and the dodgems (NO bumping). I had low expectations from the off, but I was completely dumbfounded by the accommodation. In a word? Crap, with grime included in the cost. I was surprised that flies weren't making passionate love in the oven. In fact, I was surprised the bloody roof hadn't eaten itself.
In my area roofs tend to be very emotional creatures, prone to nervous breakdances and spontaneous combustion. That was a lie.
In my area roofs tend to be very emotional creatures, prone to nervous breakdances and spontaneous combustion. That was a lie.
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
ON HOLIDAY
I would post, but I can't. So I won't. And yes, it really did take this long to think of this.
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
march forth!.... or not, lazy git
You may recall, all that time ago on 16th February of this year I briefly mentioned journeying to and from school. I certainly don't, apparently I did.
Often on the first trip I pass - or get stuck behind, a coach. It's always the same coach, with the same children on it; always the same phone number printed in the same font on the same white rear. It's always the same. I go through the same routine of insulting it, calling the driver an idiot and contemplating making rude gestures at it as I pass it.
Of course, I never do the latter, because I'm a good child.
Nothing ever happens, because I always beat it. In the end. I walk off, confident in the knowledge that I am superior and poses more Doctor Who trading cards than anybody on said coach.
The coach trails away and sulks, I'm sure it sobs endlessly at night. I'm sure it wails for it's rusty and dilapidated mother, and just for that minute - that second in which the last breath is taken; it's mother calls back.
"DRIVE FASTER YOU LAZY GIT!"
Often on the first trip I pass - or get stuck behind, a coach. It's always the same coach, with the same children on it; always the same phone number printed in the same font on the same white rear. It's always the same. I go through the same routine of insulting it, calling the driver an idiot and contemplating making rude gestures at it as I pass it.
Of course, I never do the latter, because I'm a good child.
Nothing ever happens, because I always beat it. In the end. I walk off, confident in the knowledge that I am superior and poses more Doctor Who trading cards than anybody on said coach.
The coach trails away and sulks, I'm sure it sobs endlessly at night. I'm sure it wails for it's rusty and dilapidated mother, and just for that minute - that second in which the last breath is taken; it's mother calls back.
"DRIVE FASTER YOU LAZY GIT!"
Monday, 16 May 2011
licking it up
I've never had an issue with people licking plates, neither has my dog. I find it hard to see why anybody would - after all, 'waste not want not'? The majority of people, however, seem to set out on a vendetta to all of us innocent plate licking beings.
Society has moved on from what it used to be, blacks are now acceptable and gays are gaining rights; so with our ever increasingly liberal viewpoint I fail to see why plate-licking is unacceptable.
I hate to single out a particular group, but mothers are our most common predator. Plate licking to them is as filthy an act as masturbation. It's like taking your school books, ejaculating all over them and chucking them into a fire.
You just don't do it.
I fully support anybody that openly licks plates, and I congratulate everybody that gets dirty looks for doing it.
Society has moved on from what it used to be, blacks are now acceptable and gays are gaining rights; so with our ever increasingly liberal viewpoint I fail to see why plate-licking is unacceptable.
I hate to single out a particular group, but mothers are our most common predator. Plate licking to them is as filthy an act as masturbation. It's like taking your school books, ejaculating all over them and chucking them into a fire.
You just don't do it.
I fully support anybody that openly licks plates, and I congratulate everybody that gets dirty looks for doing it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)